After clearing jee i entered iit bombay with big dreams...i wanted to be successful, famous rich. Classes started..it was tough for me to focus and understand what was going on in class.To compensate for it i tried to study all the time i was in my room.I didn’t take part in any cultural activitiy to save more time for studies but it didn’t work out.Meanwhile i started to like a girl in my batch. But never had the courage to talk to her. I was thinking almost all the time about her.Coming from an orthodox family i felt guilty because of this.
This kept going on …. initially it was not that tough ….i would just get sad but it was manageable.
After a while this started to get worse. Time came when i was sad for most of the time.It started to affect my studies and personal life…. friends were supportive ...they always tried to help...but after a while even they could not help.
Third year started …. everyone was doing something good...all my friends also got busy.
I was feeling sad ,alone and frustrated. I started smoking….eventually i was smoking a lot.
I started to think that it was not worth living now.Every other day i was sitting on my hostel terrace thinking about whether i should end my life. Suicide seemed a good choice because it was all sadness and loneliness at that point in my life.
I decided to give counselling a try.
I called counselor’s office, it was Amita Tagare ma’am. She gave me an appointment for 4.30. I met her half heartedly,i thought it won’t be of any use.I was trying real hard not to cry in front of her.I told her about my problem and she was not surprised. I thought that she would give me some medicine or something like that but all she said that it is not much to worry about. I talked to her about 45 minutes that day and it was the first time in months that i felt good for no reason at all. I would see her once every week. I started to feel good...although initially it was just for one day in a week but i was improving. Slowly, but i was feeling normal again. I stopped smoking.
After six months of counselling she told me that i was better now and she was right. Nothing had changed much, i was still not doing good in acads, didn’t have much of a social life, the girl i like was dating someone else but still i was happy.
One year has passed since the day i first went to see the counselor. Nothing much has changed but now i am happy and i love my life.Every day i make sure that i am enjoying my life as much as She taught me one really important thing-” At the end of the day we all want to be happy”.
I thought only success meant happiness but i was wrong.
If anyone who is facing similar problems please consider meeting her once. You won’t leave her office without a big smile on your face...and on way back to your hostel you will find yourself laughing for no reason at all.
Thank you Amita Tagare ma’am for giving me my life back.
Thank you IITB Care.